first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Randomize