he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize