If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I'm just crazy horny about you
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
