Plan B is the new Plan A
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
