would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Randomize
