it's too hot outside to masturbate.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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