We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
We were destined to go to rehab together
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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