he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
