Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too

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(917): View more from New York City

you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?

Fav 238 5271 1512
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(563): View more from Iowa

even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair

Fav 82 4585 1264
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(319): View more from Iowa

I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women

(319): View more from Iowa

I wish I had your problem

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(551): View more from New Jersey

i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me

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(705): View more from Ontario

Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial

Fav 2 2932 949
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??

Fav 1 105 64
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(647): View more from Ontario

The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads

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