you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
