No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
