And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize