So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Randomize
