the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
