So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
