rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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