I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
