I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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