Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
My liver just had a heart attack.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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