Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
