We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
