How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
it glows. i had to have it.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
