why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
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