i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Randomize
