Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Randomize
