we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
