i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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