party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize