yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
