i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Randomize
