Well douche your snatch and let's go!
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
