this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
