you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
You have to summon your inner elephant
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
