the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
