I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
