my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
