If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
