At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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