airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
All the doctor said was why
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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