So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
