on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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