its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
