now i know why i became what i already was.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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