I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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