the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
