By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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