why didn't you poke me back
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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