Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
