Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
