ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
