well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize