No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
