So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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