$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
