We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
