Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
