so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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