32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize