really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
