I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
