'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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