thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
